Category Archives: Correspondence

My Letter of Recommendation for Gordon Brown for the Post of Social Worker

Dear Head of Council,

I have been asked to write a letter of recommendation for Mr Gordon Brown and I am very pleased to do so. Gordon has been employed by UK Limited as Prime Minister from June 27, 2007 to May 11, 2010. His responsibilities included defending the interests of the City, playing down the Iraq War and discrediting New Labour to the last. He achieved this triple target to perfection. Thanks to him, the colossal private debt of the banks was transferred to the public purse, the British Army is now bogged down in Afghanistan without any hope of an honourable ending, and the Tories have just formed their government. Continue reading

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My Letter to Alistair Darling: The Pan Has Been Stolen!

Dear Alistair,

Firstly, thank you again for having let me stay at your little bungalow in Edinburgh for the last three months. I have really enjoyed the convenience of this modest residence, specially Mark and Spencer’s furniture, whose elegant simplicity perfectly suits a Labour grandee. Moreover, I’m very impressed not only by your personal hospitality for a French traveller, but also by your public action as Chancellor to make accommodation easy for the holders of euros: with the pound so low and a real-estate market so depressed, who can still say that you don’t try to attract foreign purchasers to Britain? Continue reading

My Letter to The Daily Telegraph: Be Yourself!

Dear Daily Telegraph,

I am writing to you to complain about your article published on 27th April 2009, “Boris Johnson says the new tax rate is an attack on London.” I regret to tell you that this article was lukewarm and did not defend the Tory point of view with enough conviction.

Firstly, Boris Johnson’s words are reported to describe the increase of top income tax rate from 40% to 50% for people earning more than £150,000 a year, as “an attack on London,” but nowhere is it mentioned that this expression is too weak to characterise the situation. In fact, a new Blitz is hitting London, worst than the preceding one, to some extent, because this assault on our glorious city does not come from a failed Austrian painter but from a treacherous Scot.

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